utorok 26. apríla 2011

Five Things to Love About Sucker Punch

1. Hot Chicks: Yes, as a woman even I can agree that women in this movie were hot. Something guys might appreciate, unless they are gay or prefer substantial plot. And while I’m sure there are many hard core feminists out there dissing this movie, saying it’s objectifying women, I’m just going to say ‘chill out’. Not everything has to be about the war of genders and their portrayal in popular culture. I’m certainly guilty of supporting gorgeous half naked men in not finding the rest of their clothes.

2. Special Effects: I saw Sucker Punch at a cinema and I have to say, I really enjoyed the special effects on the big screen, especially because they reminded me so much of the Japanese animations or video games such as Final Fantasy. True, you knew the moment they were going to pop up, but they were amazingly done nonetheless.

3. Slow Motion Scenes: A definite trademark of the director Zack Snyder, who likes to pump up the drama with some well-placed slow motion. You could see it in Watchmen too. Perhaps it is not the most original concept but it works here quite well.

4. Plot: Yes, there is one, despite what most critics have to say about the movie. I actually liked the storyline and the various realities melding together to culminate to a senseful (I made up the word, deal with it) finale. Escape plan, child abuse and creepy asylum lobotomies, you’ll understand what really happened in the end.

5. Twist: The ending wasn’t quite as predictable so that’s a positive point for me. I hate the movies where I know from the beginning how it’s going to end more than I hate clichéd ends. Although come to think of it, the two usually go hand in hand.

sobota 9. apríla 2011

Jersey Shore: The Gem of Postmodern Era


Amazed and touched. That’s how I feel after watching the reality show I’ve been hearing about for months and but never felt like giving it a chance. It is actually really meaningful and these people reflect the majority of our society in a believable way that makes me want to shed a tear. No, really, I am about to cry right now because the cult film Idiocracy has never been closer to becoming reality.

It’s about a house full of Guidos, which means they’re Italian or something even though they all have a very convincing American accent. Well, at least they’re good at something, right?

I don’t think I’d be able to tell them apart, so apt they’re at disguising themselves as mindless clones that simply must have been produced in a factory in Fake Italy. I believe Fake Italy is geographically shaped like a thong. Or a tan bed. Speaking of… What the hell is up with that?

There’s an over-abundance of tanned douche-bags in Jersey Shore, if you’re into that kind of thing. Apparently, one of them called Snooki is some kind of celebrity because she can’t keep her tiny hands off the booze bottles. And jell-o shots. But I am proud our society is so accepting of people who have been growth challenged. Good for her!

But let me use a quote worthy of Sophocles himself. “It takes me about 25 minutes to do my hair,” says Pauly D, whose name strangely reminds me of a green parrot. And I have to say that I applaud his genuine effort of spending 25 minutes on creating the glorious hair-helmet that strongly resembles a bowl.

It’s a sight to behold and all the scientists should herd in on the opportunity to examine the fact that the hair seems to be defying gravity. We should all look up to his inspiring self-confidence and ability to make a joke out of himself. Not everyone has the guts to go out looking like an asshole.

Here’s another gem: “My abs are so ripped up it’s called ‘the situation,’” claims Mike aka The Situation. Now, what more there is to say to that? It simply speaks for itself. So many layers, this man has. He’s like a human onion.

But let’s not forget the female residents. Apparently, one of them is ‘the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet’. I might be wrong (no, I’m not) but isn’t that kind of an oxymoron? Or maybe I should just omit the ‘oxy’ in the word. Well, in their own words, the Jersey Shore women are classy because they have been living with the men for two whole days (TWO!!! That’s like a whole eternity, people!) and they haven’t had sex with them yet. Classy indeed.

Upon seeing this spectacular reality show, I have decided I’m never watching another episode again. I value my grey matter too much.