streda 9. marca 2011

The Biggest Wreck I’ve Ever Had the Misfortune of Seeing (aka Dorm Daze)



Some time ago, I’d been traumatized by the true gem of a movie cleverly titled Dorm Daze. Before you pose an obvious question and ask me what it was about- it was about life at a dorm. And confusion born of ceaseless misunderstandings. Needless to say I ended up pretty confused myself as to why would anyone waste money on producing this.

Apparently, life of a university student consists of barging into other people’s rooms, making tired sausage (meaning penis) jokes and trying to sneak in hookers. Being a university student myself, I am deeply offended. I’ve only tried to sneak in a male stripper, and it was just once.

But honestly, I hardly remember all the details as I was sitting on my bed searching the net for pictures of retarded animals (please don’t sue me PETA), so I didn’t pay it too much attention.

The film just happened to be on and I caught glimpses of the sorry excuse of a plot and shallow characterizations. Apparently all college women go prancing around skimpily clad and have enough money to pay for breast implants. Believe me, if you’re a student you’re happy to have enough money to buy a frozen pizza for dinner.

All the characters seemed like the most farfetched stereotypes of young people who are dumber than a rock—yet still miraculously managed to get to college—and their only goal in their bubblegum existences are money and sex.

I don’t remember any names or the exact pacing of the plot (and I use the term loosely) besides the hooker’s name. Now it was either Monique or Dominique but I don’t care enough to look it up. Either way, the hooker was the crucial character - and of course she was French. Just another big cliché the writers decided to slap down on the paper.

Dominique was also the source of a big plot twist at the end which I’m not going to reveal as to not spoil in case you’re feeling suicidal enough to watch this. The only thing I can say is that the so-called twist didn’t make any sense at all.

It seemed as though those responsible felt it would be a total jaw-dropper. Instead I was left shaking my head at the sad effort and complete lack of fluency or humor. And if a comedy doesn’t make you laugh, why the hell would anyone want to watch?

This movie was another train wreck of a movie on a long list of pathetic teenage comedies that is neither amusing nor does it come anywhere close to reality. And if a huge meteor shower rained down from the sky and crushed all the characters, I wouldn’t give a damn. I’d probably cheer the fiery rocks on. But the fact this came out in theatres isn’t actually the most horrifying thing. Apparently, it has a sequel.

What is the worst comedy you've ever seen?
 

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